LJI S9.7, No True Scotsman

[muchtooarrogant]

When faced with a time sensitive task, how many of you take the time you know you'll require to finish said task, and double it? You would think, in a culture driven by numerous measures of productivity, that consistently doing this would give you the reputation of being an inefficient, lazy, and none too bright worker. I assure you, such is not the case!

Of course, when someone like your boss asks you straight out, "Hey, how long will it take you to finish that?" the answer is simple. Normal duration of task times two. Trust me, if you consistently finish up on time, or even complete something ahead of schedule, no one will complain.

Obviously though, that's the simple scenario. What are you supposed to do if you've got a predetermined deadline? "Finish this report by Thursday."

Remember, even though your boss may be the dreadfullest slimiest scum that was ever scraped off the bottom of a duck pond, he or she wants to believe that they're human, and that their requests are more than reasonable. The key, gentle reader, is to intercept the assignment before it gets made.

Keep your ear to the ground, and when you determine that chances of an onrushing task of doom are high, call up your boss, and ask for their advice on something unrelated. Naturally, this is where forethought and planning are crucial to your survival. It's a good rule of thumb to have a pending file of "Whatever should I do?" situations at hand, so as to never be caught unprepared in such a situation. Ask for the mighty one's help, and then bring the conversation around to the threatened job. Be calm, commiserate with them a bit over how difficult the task promises to me, and then say, "You know, now that we've discussed this, I'm certain that I can have this done for you by (normal duration of task times two!)"

Yes, I know, I hear the doubters among you, but I promise, this is a time honored strategy of mine that has never once failed. It works on bosses, as outlined above, parents, teachers, and pretty much any authority figure you care to name. Hell, I bet it would even work on captains.

Dan

Comments

[itsjustc.livejournal.com]

One place I worked the boss used to set ridiculous unachievable deadlines and I was constantly having to say "The machine/computer/anything non human takes 'this' long therefore no... it cannot be finished 3 hours earlier!" here I was seen as a trouble-making young woman for arguing with the boss. When I moved jobs the new boss would ask me how long a task would take, my experience with my previous boss led me to come up with the x2 idea without anyone ever telling me about it. In that job I was praised because I always finished the work far earlier than was expected. :)

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

In truth, I've been pretty fortunate. The bosses I've had over the years have had fairly reasonable expectations when deadlines were involved, but I always have heard stories of those who weren't.

Thanks for reading and commenting!

Dan

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

LOL..now I just need to try that out..;)

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Oh Hell, I just realized what I forgot to put at the end of this entry...

muchtooarrogant will not be held responsible for any reader who tries out this strategy, and has it utterly fail! *grin*

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Dan

[eternal-ot.livejournal.com]

LOL..arrgh..not fair..;)..:D ..you are welcome!

[i-17bingo.livejournal.com]

If the deadline was around the amount of time I could really do the job, often failed to hit it, even if I could have made it work. I'd learned from previous gigs that the only reward you get for busting your ass too hard is the expectation that you can work at that level all the time.

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

So true! I read a sci-fi piece once where the narrator was explaining why they spent most of their life as an F*up, except for those occasional moments of rare brilliance. The brilliance was actually there all the time, it just wasn't worth showing it. LOL Wish I could remember what story/author that was... Something I read in high school.

Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

Dan

[halfshellvenus.livejournal.com]

I'm in a business where Work Breakdown Structures are very much the thing, and they help us set our _ideal_ goals-- though someone higher up always has a "drop-dead date" in mind that cannot be budged. The more reasonable goal is what happens when new duties/bugs/reviewing other people's features/bugs interferes in the meantime...

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, structure can be good, so long as it's used reasonably. I know exactly what you mean about getting sidetracked too; no matter what strategy you use, it's the hundred small things that come up during the day that are so difficult to account for.

Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

Dan

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

Lol! What happens when you have an official list of how long each task takes?

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Ha, funny thing is, back when I was a contract trainer for the state of Texas, we were governed by very specific criteria that specified, among other things, exactly how long a given training should take. Of course, those lovely little specs never took real life into account, and so you could always tweek them if you needed to. The rule of the game there was to document everything. As long as you could point to the training report you filed and say, "I explained that under the section labeled Training Environment in item five," you were good.

I did that particular job for five years, and when I started, there were no specs whatsoever. By the time I finished, there were specs for every part of the training process, and for a lot of them they used the training reports I filed to write them. I know they did, because the template they ended up using for the example training reports was exactly the same as the one I originally designed. LOL Highest form of flattery, or something. I wish I could figure out a way to put that on my resume.

Thanks for reading. :)

Dan

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

Lol! 'Filed documents which contributed to new training specifications' doesn't fit on a resume?

You're welcome.

[elledanger.livejournal.com]

Always under promise and over deliver; aka the Scotty Principle. Nice take on the topic!

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. Admittedly, I wrote most of this with tongue firmly planted in cheek, but it's still a good strategy for over-demanding sorts.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Dan

[tonithegreat.livejournal.com]

I love this! Best use of Montgomery Scott strategy in an entry yet!

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I tried not to be too heavy handed, and am glad you enjoyed what I wrote.

Dan

[karmasoup.livejournal.com]

Oh, you suave, silver-tongued devil! Well done! I would have no idea how to go about getting myself into one of those conversations in the first place, but you’ve made a habit of it! Not intentionally to show my geek colors, but this totally reminds me of an interaction between Scotty of the original Star Trek and Geordi LaForge of The Next Generation. Very astutely pulled off, Scotty.

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Yes, that was exactly the conversation I had in mind when I wrote this. :) Glad you enjoyed.

Dan

[cheshire23.livejournal.com]

Great advice, thanks! :)

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Dan

[khixan.livejournal.com]

ROFL - I'm taking notes! :D