LJI S9.7, No True Scotsman

[muchtooarrogant]

When faced with a time sensitive task, how many of you take the time you know you'll require to finish said task, and double it? You would think, in a culture driven by numerous measures of productivity, that consistently doing this would give you the reputation of being an inefficient, lazy, and none too bright worker. I assure you, such is not the case!

Of course, when someone like your boss asks you straight out, "Hey, how long will it take you to finish that?" the answer is simple. Normal duration of task times two. Trust me, if you consistently finish up on time, or even complete something ahead of schedule, no one will complain.

Obviously though, that's the simple scenario. What are you supposed to do if you've got a predetermined deadline? "Finish this report by Thursday."

Remember, even though your boss may be the dreadfullest slimiest scum that was ever scraped off the bottom of a duck pond, he or she wants to believe that they're human, and that their requests are more than reasonable. The key, gentle reader, is to intercept the assignment before it gets made.

Keep your ear to the ground, and when you determine that chances of an onrushing task of doom are high, call up your boss, and ask for their advice on something unrelated. Naturally, this is where forethought and planning are crucial to your survival. It's a good rule of thumb to have a pending file of "Whatever should I do?" situations at hand, so as to never be caught unprepared in such a situation. Ask for the mighty one's help, and then bring the conversation around to the threatened job. Be calm, commiserate with them a bit over how difficult the task promises to me, and then say, "You know, now that we've discussed this, I'm certain that I can have this done for you by (normal duration of task times two!)"

Yes, I know, I hear the doubters among you, but I promise, this is a time honored strategy of mine that has never once failed. It works on bosses, as outlined above, parents, teachers, and pretty much any authority figure you care to name. Hell, I bet it would even work on captains.

Dan

Comments

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

Lol! What happens when you have an official list of how long each task takes?

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

Ha, funny thing is, back when I was a contract trainer for the state of Texas, we were governed by very specific criteria that specified, among other things, exactly how long a given training should take. Of course, those lovely little specs never took real life into account, and so you could always tweek them if you needed to. The rule of the game there was to document everything. As long as you could point to the training report you filed and say, "I explained that under the section labeled Training Environment in item five," you were good.

I did that particular job for five years, and when I started, there were no specs whatsoever. By the time I finished, there were specs for every part of the training process, and for a lot of them they used the training reports I filed to write them. I know they did, because the template they ended up using for the example training reports was exactly the same as the one I originally designed. LOL Highest form of flattery, or something. I wish I could figure out a way to put that on my resume.

Thanks for reading. :)

Dan

[jem0000000.livejournal.com]

Lol! 'Filed documents which contributed to new training specifications' doesn't fit on a resume?

You're welcome.