muchtooarrogant: (Default)
LJI FAR 0.5
You know that “polite company” filter most people use to screen their conversations?

Mine doesn’t work so well. Okay, that’s not really accurate... It has been known to work reasonably well, so long as I give enough of a shit to implement it. Most of the time, I don’t.

In June this year, I started working for a new company. Being so wet behind the ears, I was hopeful that I might possibly avoid the annual drudgery of filling out a performance review this month, but no such luck. Besides the mutually agreed upon goals my manager and I had developed, there were also four core company beliefs for which I had to list examples demonstrating my participation and understanding. They were:

  • Accountable: Drives results by owning the solution, getting the right people involved and delivering on promises.

  • Brave: Takes bold and decisive action to deliver ambitious outcomes, and champions a culture of high performance.

  • Decent: Listens, encourages and respects difference; treats all people fairly, with honesty and transparency.

  • Imaginative: Looks beyond their immediate job both inside and outside Company X and introduces new ways of seeing, thinking and working.


I was in a groove, rolling out the BS, and then got stuck.

Over Skype to Coworker
Dan: I’m stuck for something to put under Decent on my performance review. Do you think my sense of humor, ragging on everyone, regardless of their rank and power over me, counts?
Sam: I think that counts for Curmudgeon At Large. :)

Of course, then he ruined it by saying how much I had supported not only himself, but also two interns we hired over the summer. Still though, I like that title!

This past week, I attended a conference in Albuquerque. Although I’ve been to many many work conferences before, this was a totally new experience for me. Instead of being stuck behind an exhibit booth, playing the sales drone and giving demonstrations to whomever I could capture as they wandered by, I could actually attend sessions and learn a few things. During the last session though, that Curmudgeon At Large title became relevant again.

There were for of us from my company, and because we had to leave for the airport as soon as the session was scheduled to end, we all sat together. As we were claiming our seats and getting situated—standing by our chairs, gossiping, and blocking through traffic--a teacher I knew from the TX School for the Blind said hello, and I introduced her to my colleagues. She then introduced the person sitting next to her—we’ll call her Stephanie W.

“Oh,” I said, stretching out my hand to shake, “I don’t believe we’ve met. My name is Dan.”

“Oh Dan,” she responded, somewhat snootily I thought, “you’re silly. This is Stephanie from Region 11.”

Retrieving my hand, which she had not bothered to shake, I said, “H’m, I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize your last name.”

To myself, I thought, “Oh, THAT Stephanie!”

We did indeed know each other. About three years ago, she had taken over the teaching coordinator position at Region 11, an educational service center in Fort Worth that had formerly been one of my best customers, and had promptly ignored almost every communication I had sent her. It had been a shock, both because the former coordinator and I had gotten on very well, and because I had known Stephanie previously as a teacher and thought we also had a pretty solid relationship.

“Well,” she explained, “I got married about four years ago, but never bothered to change my ID. It finally expired the other day and I had to.”

“Oh,” I said, smiling widely, “waiting to see if it would work out?”

“Wooooooooow,” exclaimed Sam, who was sitting next to me, “I would have to know someone for a really long time before I said something like that.”

Stephanie and I both agreed that we had, and then she turned around.

I am very thankful to now be working for a new employer after putting in twelve years with the old one. I’m just as thankful that the self-evaluation part of said company’s performance review process is now complete. And finally, I’m thankful that everyone who works with me is now familiar with the golden rule, “Don’t mess with the Curmudgeon At Large!”

Dan
muchtooarrogant: (Default)
LJ Idol, Week Five

Several years ago, I owned my own business, and provided a service to my customers known as Adaptive Technology Training. I don't know whether that sounds glamorous to an outsider or not, but most of the time it wasn't. I was an independent contractor, and primarily worked for a state agency called the Texas Commission for the Blind. TCB, as they were known then, had a very simple goal, help blind or visually impaired people become employed. I was hired when a counselor decided that one of his or her consumers needed computer training. In the majority of cases, this meant providing instruction in PC basics such as word processing, e-mail, accounting software, using the Internet, and so on. Far from complex concepts, I grant you, but the training was specialized because my students were all either blind or low vision, and were, by necessity, using print enlargement or screen reading programs to accomplish these tasks.

The nice part was that, as an independent contractor, I could pretty much set my own schedule. No one was looking over my shoulder, so I could be just as busy or take as much time off as I wanted. Of course, if I didn't work, I didn't eat, so the motivation to stay busy was pretty high.

The not so great part? That was a two headed monster, perhaps something like Amphisbaena from Greek mythology. In my case, the head on the left was named Location, and the head on the right was called Unaware.

If everything worked the way it was supposed to, a counselor would contact me, give me the name of a consumer, and explain what sort of training they needed. Unfortunately, some counselors apparently couldn't be bothered to call me themselves, and simply had the consumers do so. I got pretty good at interviewing people on the fly, but one thing I never quite managed to figure out was a polite way of asking, "What sort of place do you live or work in?" As rude as that might sound, it ended up being a very important question.

Location was crucial because it always affected training. There were the high rise business centers refrigerated to subzero temperatures, forcing the student and myself to both wear jackets, regardless of the outside temperature. On the other end of the spectrum, I once worked in a home with electricity, but no functioning plumbing. After the first day, I went to the bathroom before arriving, and drank absolutely nothing until I left. On another occasion, I traveled to a community made famous by college kids on Spring Break vacation, and discovered that my student lived in an oceanside mansion with live-in servants. And then, there was the apartment where the electrical work was so shoddily done that a crackling noise and sparks immediately followed the computer being plugged in to any outlet. No matter what the training environment was however, my job was to come in, work with my student until they were proficient at the tasks they needed to complete, and then leave.

Location could be bad, but Unaware was ever so much worse. No matter how good I got at interviewing people, there was almost always something which slipped in under my radar.

On one memorable occasion, I was hired to provide computer training for a gentlemen who was a published author. Now, I've always loved books, and have nothing but respect for anyone who's successfully managed to get published, but a question occurred to me almost immediately while discussing the training with his counselor.

"If he hasn't been using a computer," I asked, "how has he been submitting his book transcripts to the publisher?"

"He's been narrating the text on to a cassette tape, and then his mother's been typing them," I was told.

"Oh, okay," I answered cautiously, "but he's ready to use a computer now, right?"

"Absolutely," the counselor responded, "he wants to be completely independent."

At this point in my career, I'd heard enough agency double-talk to realize that I'd better interview the consumer pretty closely, just to be certain that this independence and desire for computer training was his, and not his mother's or counselor's. When I got the chance to talk to him though, everything seemed on the up-and-up. He was reasonably well spoken, seemed to be looking forward to the training, and even asked several questions about how my classes would be taught.

Although all the portents seemed to be in my favor, the day of training, once it finally arrived, was an overcast and gloomy affair. My student lived in a small coastal community about forty-five miles outside of Corpus Christi, Texas, which meant that I would have to fly to Corpus, and then travel the remainder of the way by car. Actually, since I hadn't been able to get a direct flight, I would fly from Austin to Houston, and then to Corpus. Still, I had an early morning departure, and had therefore told my student to expect me around noon.

Wishful thinking. My flight started on time, but Houston was surrounded by thunderstorms, and we circled for what felt like hours before the pilot was finally able to land. Then, of course, I was stranded in the airport for actual hours, while flights were delayed, rerouted, and cancelled. I did eventually make it on to an outbound flight, and got to Corpus around 4:30 PM. By the time I found a taxi, loaded my luggage, and traveled forty-five miles, it was getting close to 6:00 PM, and I had no desire to do any sort of training.

Of course, I knew that my student had been waiting all day, and was probably anxious to get started. I called, was told that, "Yes, I'd love it if you could come out this evening," and reluctantly agreed to do so.

With a title like Adaptive Technology Trainer, you probably wouldn't imagine that unpacking the computer and connecting all of its various and sundry components would be part of my job description, but it often was. In fact, counselors preferred that I perform the initial computer setup, because it prevented an inexperienced consumer from inadvertently destroying something. In this case, everything was intact, and I had it all setup within an hour of arriving.

"This is great," my student said, sitting in front of his newly assembled computer. "That took you a lot less time than I thought it would."

"Thank you," I answered, trying to come up with a polite way of delaying the commencement of training to the following morning. My only meal that day, an unfortunate encounter with airport nachos, had left my stomach feeling rather unsettled.

"There's something I need to tell you though," he said next.

"Okay," I agreed, not really caring what his revelation would be.

"I can't type!"

I stared at him in disbelief. Inconceivable!

Author's Note:
Although there have been few constants over the years where adaptive technology purchases in Texas are concerned, the one thing counselors have always agreed on is that any consumer receiving a computer system from the state must be able to type at a reasonable speed. My student had gone through the evaluation process just like any other consumer, had his needs and abilities assessed, and on more than one report, it had been noted that he would require typing classes before the computer was purchased. Whether his counselor was unable to read or was simply too lazy to do so, the unavoidable fact was that my published author never received any instruction in typing before I arrived.

Even so, despite all of the trials and tribulations, I must confess that I often miss my training days.

Dan

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