LJI S9.7, No True Scotsman

[muchtooarrogant]

When faced with a time sensitive task, how many of you take the time you know you'll require to finish said task, and double it? You would think, in a culture driven by numerous measures of productivity, that consistently doing this would give you the reputation of being an inefficient, lazy, and none too bright worker. I assure you, such is not the case!

Of course, when someone like your boss asks you straight out, "Hey, how long will it take you to finish that?" the answer is simple. Normal duration of task times two. Trust me, if you consistently finish up on time, or even complete something ahead of schedule, no one will complain.

Obviously though, that's the simple scenario. What are you supposed to do if you've got a predetermined deadline? "Finish this report by Thursday."

Remember, even though your boss may be the dreadfullest slimiest scum that was ever scraped off the bottom of a duck pond, he or she wants to believe that they're human, and that their requests are more than reasonable. The key, gentle reader, is to intercept the assignment before it gets made.

Keep your ear to the ground, and when you determine that chances of an onrushing task of doom are high, call up your boss, and ask for their advice on something unrelated. Naturally, this is where forethought and planning are crucial to your survival. It's a good rule of thumb to have a pending file of "Whatever should I do?" situations at hand, so as to never be caught unprepared in such a situation. Ask for the mighty one's help, and then bring the conversation around to the threatened job. Be calm, commiserate with them a bit over how difficult the task promises to me, and then say, "You know, now that we've discussed this, I'm certain that I can have this done for you by (normal duration of task times two!)"

Yes, I know, I hear the doubters among you, but I promise, this is a time honored strategy of mine that has never once failed. It works on bosses, as outlined above, parents, teachers, and pretty much any authority figure you care to name. Hell, I bet it would even work on captains.

Dan

Comments

[i-17bingo.livejournal.com]

If the deadline was around the amount of time I could really do the job, often failed to hit it, even if I could have made it work. I'd learned from previous gigs that the only reward you get for busting your ass too hard is the expectation that you can work at that level all the time.

[muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com]

So true! I read a sci-fi piece once where the narrator was explaining why they spent most of their life as an F*up, except for those occasional moments of rare brilliance. The brilliance was actually there all the time, it just wasn't worth showing it. LOL Wish I could remember what story/author that was... Something I read in high school.

Thanks for reading and commenting. :)

Dan