The London Accords
Oct. 12th, 2025 09:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
muchtooarrogantLJI Week 12: Happy Detritus
The white Husky stood at full attention, completely focused on the tennis ball Max was holding. Slowly, he began tossing the ball back and forth from one hand to the other, the dog's head tracking the fuzzy sphere's movement with radar-like intensity.
"You look tired, Bailey," Max observed, "should we stop playing for a while?"
"Ruff!" the dog proclaimed with earsplitting indignance.
"Such language!" Max chided.
"Ruff! Ruff!"
"Oh, all right."
Max drew back his arm to throw, and long before the ball left his hand, Bailey had dashed halfway across the yard.
"Cheater!" he called after her, laughing. "Next time I'll make you sit first."
It was a gorgeous autumn afternoon, sunny, but not too hot, with just enough of a breeze to occasionally stir the crape myrtle's few remaining leaves above him. Even better, it was a week day, so the residential neighborhood around him was quiet, with most people away at work. He had endured a dental cleaning that morning, and had taken the rest of the day off as a small reward for himself. Basking in the sun and throwing balls for Bailey, his only regret was that he hadn't taken the remainder of the week off as well.
Max lifted a glass from the low metal table beside him, took a long drink of water, and was just considering what he should do for lunch when a movement in his neighbor's windows caught his eye. That was strange, Pete and Barb always parked in their driveway, and both cars had been gone when he came home from the dentist. Had one of them just come home, planning to take the afternoon off as well?
Across the yard, Bailey started barking.
As he watched, all three of his neighbors bedroom window shades closed. Oh, that made more sense, they must be on a timer or something.
Bailey's barking hadn't stopped, and seemed almost frantic now.
"Cool it!" Max yelled at her.
The bedroom shades opened. Was the timer broken? After a few seconds, they closed again. Weird!
Over the racket of her barking, he heard Bailey's nails scratching against something, and turned to see her jumping up on the two trash cans lined up beside the back gate.
"Hey!" he yelled, jumping to his feet, "cut that out!"
She ignored him, and continuing to bark, began trying to shove herself in-between the fence and the first trash can. The tennis ball must've rolled behind them. Jogging across the yard, he seized her collar and pulled her back. If she had managed to tip the wheeled can over, the garbage inside would have made an awful mess.
"Enough!" Max yelled, "I'll get the ball. What's gotten into you?"
In astonishment, he watched as the ball sailed out from behind the two cans. Bailey tore herself free, snatched the ball out of mid-air, and then sat watching both trash cans with riveted attention.
"Do you have a leash?" a voice from behind the cans inquired.
Max sighed. "Yeah, I have a leash."
He dug in the pocket of his shorts, extracted a flexy leash, and clicked Bailey to its end. At least the tennis ball in her mouth muffled the occasional furious barks that still emerged.
"Okay," Max said.
A small green furry man wriggled his way out from behind the trash can barrier. Bailey immediately dropped the tennis ball and attempted to lunge at the minuscule figure, but Max had locked the leash.
Over her renewed barking, the man asked plaintively, "Can you put her inside?"
Max nodded curtly. He dragged the white dog to his house's back door, wrestled her inside, made sure the door was securely closed, and turned to see if the little man was still there. He had half expected him to make a run for it, but the small figure was standing by the table and chairs where Max had sat while throwing Bailey's ball.
Max stared at him resentfully. "The accords say you have to respect our laws, and I'm pretty sure that includes trespassing."
The little man looked embarrassed. "Aye, they do," he admitted, "and I had every intention of staying off your property, but ..."
"But?" Max prompted.
He had remained standing by the back door, as far from the little man as he could manage. The creatures were mischievous as Hell, but weren't supposed to be dangerous after the London Accords had been ratified by both humans and their kind.
"It was just a wee prank," the little man asserted. "I didna mean any harm to you or your family."
"Uh-huh," Max said, unconvinced. "A wee prank against whom then?"
Reluctantly, the figure gestured at Pete and Barb's house. "Your neighbor yonder."
Doing his best to look nonchalant, Max walked to the fence separating his yard from Pete and Barb's, and confirmed that their window shades were still moving up and down. It wasn't just the bedroom windows, but every window he could see.
He turned back to face the green man. "Why are their shades doing that?"
The small man muttered something.
"What?"
"The batteries!" The words seemed almost ripped from him.
"The ... batteries?" Max echoed.
The little man was dancing back and forth from foot to foot now, and seemed almost in a rage. "The accords say we are allowed access to your garbage, will ya grant me that?"
Max nodded.
"Yon neighbor of yours has put motorized shades in all their windows," he continued, "and each one of them is powered by 12, count 'em, 12 batteries." His eyes were alight with a wild glee.
"So what?" Max was thoroughly confused.
"Laddy," the little man had stopped dancing, and now shook a finger at Max, "do ya have any idea what happens when you connect some of those batteries together, add in some magic sparkle, and set them alight?"
"Uh," Max hazarded, "an explosion?"
"Aye!" The small figure seemed enraptured. "Tis not all that strong, but the battery thing blurs the magic, makes it hard to detect, and so the surprise of the one you're inflicting it on is magnificent!"
"But," Max objected, still not getting it, "what does that have to do with our garbage?"
"What do ya imagine yon neighbor will do when the batteries in their shades are all too weak to work?"
"Oh!" Max felt stupid.
"There's a festival of gift exchanging in the offing a few weeks from now," the little man continued wistfully, "and you simply canna imagine the pleasure I woulda had, wrapping up a collection of beautiful gifts for all my kin and friends, and then ..." he spread his arms wide.
Max chuckled. "We have a similar festival in December, and a character like you that's part of it too. The Grinch!"
"Ah well, ya see then," the little man exclaimed, rubbing his hands together, "no harm done, and no violation of the accords. All in good fun. Do I have your leave to be on my way?"
Max shook his head. "You still haven't explained what you were doing in my yard."
"Well now, ya see." The small man looked embarrassed. "Making yonder shades go up and down takes a bit uh power, and I needed to be close by to make it happen. I couldna just stand in the street in front of their house waving me arms about, I had to be hidden."
"Ah, and then Bailey spotted you."
"Sure, and she wouldna have ever known I was there, except the bloody ball rolled behind your cans."
Grinning with sudden realization, Max walked to one of the chairs beside the table where the man was still standing, and sat down.
"Would I be correct in assuming that you can't actually leave until I give you permission?"
Now expressionless, the little man nodded.
"And, since you actually violated the accords by coming on to my property without permission, you also owe me a ... service?"
Again, the small figure inclined and lowered his head.
Max thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Since you were going to make Pete and Barb replace all those batteries in their shades, I think you should send some good fortune their way." He hesitated, and the little man gave an eager nod. Too eager. "This isn't the first time you've done this, right?"
The little man stamped a foot. "No, tis not," he admitted.
"all right then," Max said, "see to it that they have good fortune valued at, hmmm, lets say ten times the value of all the batteries you stole."
"Ten times?" the little man shrieked.
Max shrugged. "Yeah, that seems about right."
The small man was dancing back and forth from foot to foot again.
"Oh," Max added, as though just thinking of it, "and you obviously won't play any more tricks on them or my family again, agreed?"
"Agreed," the little man snarled. "And with that and all, do I have your leave to go now?"
"Almost," Max said, smiling even wider. "All of this has made me very tired. Could you please see to it that everyone at my company will think it's a marvelous idea to approve any paid vacation I ask for in the future?"
The small man's eyes widened a fraction, and then he jerked his head up and down. "Done!" he proclaimed.
Author's Note
Bailey is my sweet Husky dog, but the only creatures she's spotted in our back yard are rabbits.
Today, Lizbeth and I had to purchase replacement batteries for the motorized shades in our bedroom, and thus a story idea was born.
If you enjoyed this entry, I hope you'll consider voting for it here: The Ballot
There were several other great entries this week, and I encourage you to read and vote for your favorites there as well.
Dan
The white Husky stood at full attention, completely focused on the tennis ball Max was holding. Slowly, he began tossing the ball back and forth from one hand to the other, the dog's head tracking the fuzzy sphere's movement with radar-like intensity.
"You look tired, Bailey," Max observed, "should we stop playing for a while?"
"Ruff!" the dog proclaimed with earsplitting indignance.
"Such language!" Max chided.
"Ruff! Ruff!"
"Oh, all right."
Max drew back his arm to throw, and long before the ball left his hand, Bailey had dashed halfway across the yard.
"Cheater!" he called after her, laughing. "Next time I'll make you sit first."
It was a gorgeous autumn afternoon, sunny, but not too hot, with just enough of a breeze to occasionally stir the crape myrtle's few remaining leaves above him. Even better, it was a week day, so the residential neighborhood around him was quiet, with most people away at work. He had endured a dental cleaning that morning, and had taken the rest of the day off as a small reward for himself. Basking in the sun and throwing balls for Bailey, his only regret was that he hadn't taken the remainder of the week off as well.
Max lifted a glass from the low metal table beside him, took a long drink of water, and was just considering what he should do for lunch when a movement in his neighbor's windows caught his eye. That was strange, Pete and Barb always parked in their driveway, and both cars had been gone when he came home from the dentist. Had one of them just come home, planning to take the afternoon off as well?
Across the yard, Bailey started barking.
As he watched, all three of his neighbors bedroom window shades closed. Oh, that made more sense, they must be on a timer or something.
Bailey's barking hadn't stopped, and seemed almost frantic now.
"Cool it!" Max yelled at her.
The bedroom shades opened. Was the timer broken? After a few seconds, they closed again. Weird!
Over the racket of her barking, he heard Bailey's nails scratching against something, and turned to see her jumping up on the two trash cans lined up beside the back gate.
"Hey!" he yelled, jumping to his feet, "cut that out!"
She ignored him, and continuing to bark, began trying to shove herself in-between the fence and the first trash can. The tennis ball must've rolled behind them. Jogging across the yard, he seized her collar and pulled her back. If she had managed to tip the wheeled can over, the garbage inside would have made an awful mess.
"Enough!" Max yelled, "I'll get the ball. What's gotten into you?"
In astonishment, he watched as the ball sailed out from behind the two cans. Bailey tore herself free, snatched the ball out of mid-air, and then sat watching both trash cans with riveted attention.
"Do you have a leash?" a voice from behind the cans inquired.
Max sighed. "Yeah, I have a leash."
He dug in the pocket of his shorts, extracted a flexy leash, and clicked Bailey to its end. At least the tennis ball in her mouth muffled the occasional furious barks that still emerged.
"Okay," Max said.
A small green furry man wriggled his way out from behind the trash can barrier. Bailey immediately dropped the tennis ball and attempted to lunge at the minuscule figure, but Max had locked the leash.
Over her renewed barking, the man asked plaintively, "Can you put her inside?"
Max nodded curtly. He dragged the white dog to his house's back door, wrestled her inside, made sure the door was securely closed, and turned to see if the little man was still there. He had half expected him to make a run for it, but the small figure was standing by the table and chairs where Max had sat while throwing Bailey's ball.
Max stared at him resentfully. "The accords say you have to respect our laws, and I'm pretty sure that includes trespassing."
The little man looked embarrassed. "Aye, they do," he admitted, "and I had every intention of staying off your property, but ..."
"But?" Max prompted.
He had remained standing by the back door, as far from the little man as he could manage. The creatures were mischievous as Hell, but weren't supposed to be dangerous after the London Accords had been ratified by both humans and their kind.
"It was just a wee prank," the little man asserted. "I didna mean any harm to you or your family."
"Uh-huh," Max said, unconvinced. "A wee prank against whom then?"
Reluctantly, the figure gestured at Pete and Barb's house. "Your neighbor yonder."
Doing his best to look nonchalant, Max walked to the fence separating his yard from Pete and Barb's, and confirmed that their window shades were still moving up and down. It wasn't just the bedroom windows, but every window he could see.
He turned back to face the green man. "Why are their shades doing that?"
The small man muttered something.
"What?"
"The batteries!" The words seemed almost ripped from him.
"The ... batteries?" Max echoed.
The little man was dancing back and forth from foot to foot now, and seemed almost in a rage. "The accords say we are allowed access to your garbage, will ya grant me that?"
Max nodded.
"Yon neighbor of yours has put motorized shades in all their windows," he continued, "and each one of them is powered by 12, count 'em, 12 batteries." His eyes were alight with a wild glee.
"So what?" Max was thoroughly confused.
"Laddy," the little man had stopped dancing, and now shook a finger at Max, "do ya have any idea what happens when you connect some of those batteries together, add in some magic sparkle, and set them alight?"
"Uh," Max hazarded, "an explosion?"
"Aye!" The small figure seemed enraptured. "Tis not all that strong, but the battery thing blurs the magic, makes it hard to detect, and so the surprise of the one you're inflicting it on is magnificent!"
"But," Max objected, still not getting it, "what does that have to do with our garbage?"
"What do ya imagine yon neighbor will do when the batteries in their shades are all too weak to work?"
"Oh!" Max felt stupid.
"There's a festival of gift exchanging in the offing a few weeks from now," the little man continued wistfully, "and you simply canna imagine the pleasure I woulda had, wrapping up a collection of beautiful gifts for all my kin and friends, and then ..." he spread his arms wide.
Max chuckled. "We have a similar festival in December, and a character like you that's part of it too. The Grinch!"
"Ah well, ya see then," the little man exclaimed, rubbing his hands together, "no harm done, and no violation of the accords. All in good fun. Do I have your leave to be on my way?"
Max shook his head. "You still haven't explained what you were doing in my yard."
"Well now, ya see." The small man looked embarrassed. "Making yonder shades go up and down takes a bit uh power, and I needed to be close by to make it happen. I couldna just stand in the street in front of their house waving me arms about, I had to be hidden."
"Ah, and then Bailey spotted you."
"Sure, and she wouldna have ever known I was there, except the bloody ball rolled behind your cans."
Grinning with sudden realization, Max walked to one of the chairs beside the table where the man was still standing, and sat down.
"Would I be correct in assuming that you can't actually leave until I give you permission?"
Now expressionless, the little man nodded.
"And, since you actually violated the accords by coming on to my property without permission, you also owe me a ... service?"
Again, the small figure inclined and lowered his head.
Max thought for a moment, and then smiled. "Since you were going to make Pete and Barb replace all those batteries in their shades, I think you should send some good fortune their way." He hesitated, and the little man gave an eager nod. Too eager. "This isn't the first time you've done this, right?"
The little man stamped a foot. "No, tis not," he admitted.
"all right then," Max said, "see to it that they have good fortune valued at, hmmm, lets say ten times the value of all the batteries you stole."
"Ten times?" the little man shrieked.
Max shrugged. "Yeah, that seems about right."
The small man was dancing back and forth from foot to foot again.
"Oh," Max added, as though just thinking of it, "and you obviously won't play any more tricks on them or my family again, agreed?"
"Agreed," the little man snarled. "And with that and all, do I have your leave to go now?"
"Almost," Max said, smiling even wider. "All of this has made me very tired. Could you please see to it that everyone at my company will think it's a marvelous idea to approve any paid vacation I ask for in the future?"
The small man's eyes widened a fraction, and then he jerked his head up and down. "Done!" he proclaimed.
Author's Note
Bailey is my sweet Husky dog, but the only creatures she's spotted in our back yard are rabbits.
Today, Lizbeth and I had to purchase replacement batteries for the motorized shades in our bedroom, and thus a story idea was born.
If you enjoyed this entry, I hope you'll consider voting for it here: The Ballot
There were several other great entries this week, and I encourage you to read and vote for your favorites there as well.
Dan
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Date: 2025-10-13 12:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-10-13 12:50 pm (UTC)Dan
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Date: 2025-10-13 03:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-10-13 03:30 pm (UTC)Dan
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Date: 2025-10-13 03:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-10-13 04:04 pm (UTC)Dan
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Date: 2025-10-13 05:59 pm (UTC)I love how kind-hearted the narrator is. Wanting happiness for his neighbors :)
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Date: 2025-10-13 09:30 pm (UTC)Yup, I left it vague on purpose. The whole accords premise was fun, and it might be an interesting world to revisit someday. LOL You may have noticed, I tend to do that a lot.
I love how kind-hearted the narrator is. Wanting happiness for his neighbors :)
Yeah, I was trying to channel some happiness from the gorgeous autumn day I mentioned, plus I picture Max thinking about horrible outcomes we've all read about when people get too greedy. Keep it simple and specific. :)
Dan
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Date: 2025-10-14 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-10-14 12:38 am (UTC)Dan
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Date: 2025-10-15 07:34 pm (UTC)That dental visit is really weighing on you, I see!
The little green man reminds me of a leprechaun, except furry (!). Impossibly attracted to mischief, and forced to grant a favor (or lead you to his pot of gold) if captured.
I don't like the sound of his mischief in this particular case, though. One imp's mischief is another man's house fire. :(
no subject
Date: 2025-10-16 02:19 pm (UTC)LOL I actually wrote this before the visit to the dentist, so yeah, maybe it was messing with my mind a bit. As it turned out, I didn't even take the day off afterwards. (sadness)
The little green man reminds me of a leprechaun, except furry (!).
I originally envisioned him as something unique, but he became progressively more leprechaunish as I wrote this. (grin) Maybe this is like the Klingon metamorphosis in Star Trek, the appearance of leprechaun fur is something no one talks about. LOL
I don't like the sound of his mischief in this particular case, though. One imp's mischief is another man's house fire. :(
Definitely a wicked little dude!
Dan
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Date: 2025-10-16 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-10-16 01:38 pm (UTC)Dan
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Date: 2025-10-16 08:26 pm (UTC)And I love that you were able to take something so mundane in real life and turn it into something magical. Well done.
no subject
Date: 2025-10-16 09:12 pm (UTC)Dan