Quandary

[muchtooarrogant]

LJI Week 10: synesthesia
He can hear the wind outside his window, the oak there bending in time to its gusts. This evening there's a bite to the air, a reminder of the changing season that's echoed in the russet leaves floating groundward.

"Are you going to the party?"

"I wasn't invited."

The sun's last rays are warm against his face, and he closes his eyes, shutting out the dancing branches beyond the glass. The shadows they throw remain, slithering across his skin like chilled snakes.

"You could go with me."

"A sibling escort?"

Somewhere in the distance there's a slowly rising wail, a sound of desperation and urgent intent.

"Sure, it'll be fun."

"Uh, the last time I went to a party with you, I watched while you drank too much, pulled over before you could get sick in my car, and held your head while you committed a hate crime in the McKenzie's front yard."

The sun's warmth vanishes from his face, and the siren's call is abruptly muted. He imagines the flashing lights, rushing figures, racing engines.

"Nikki's going to be there."

"She only said, 'The day is dreary,
He cometh not,' she said."

There is a low rumble from outside, and then a tentative tapping against the window pane. The rain has arrived.

"I thought you liked her?"

"Robert said he was going to ask her out."

The tapping intensifies, a steady thrumming against the glass. Yesterday, there had been a similar thrumming from overhead, holding the umbrella, her wet face turned up to his. They kissed.

"So, you can't like her too?"

"Not according to the guy code."

He opens his eyes in time to see a brilliant flash of lightning, the oak standing resolute, its remaining leaves glistening with a myriad of raindrops. She had tasted like strawberries.

"You look pretty happy for a guy who got blocked by his best friend."

"I'm resilient."

There's an exhilarating wildness now in the scene outside his window. The oak's thrashing outline is blurred with torrents of water cascading from above, its branches scratch scratching along the window's screen. Every few seconds a strobe of lightning aluminates the sky, followed almost instantly by a clap of thunder.

"So, Mr. Resilient, will you go with me to the party tomorrow?"

"I will."

His response tastes like victory. Like strawberries.

Author's Note
The poem my main character quotes from is Mariana By Alfred, Lord Tennyson.

Dan

Comments

[reidharriscooper]

Curious if bight and whale are intentional mental notes in mispellings. Knowing would definitely reflect where my brain goes when reading this.

[muchtooarrogant]

My own idiocy I'm afraid. Writing quickly tends to bring out the worst in my nonvisual spellings. Thanks for the heads-up.

Dan

[chasing_silver]

Love these descriptions, as always. <3

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you! The prompt kinda scared me at first because descriptions of the condition or often tied to colors, and since I've never seen colors ... Overall, I think this came out okay.

Dan

[chasing_silver]

I didn't even think of that ... can I ask how you experienced colours without being able to see them? I always wondered how I would describe colour to someone who couldn't see them.

[muchtooarrogant]

For me, since I've never seen color, it's all just words. Sky blue, blood red, green grass, and like that. While writing my story, I Googled what colors fall leaves were, and then specifically the ones for oak trees, since that was the tree my main character had outside their window. I eventually went with russet to describe them, since brown, red, and orange were mentioned, and it appeared to be a combination of all three. (shrug) In the end, I'm an amateur playing in an area I don't understand. (grin) Hopefully the big kids won't throw me out.

Dan

[bleodswean]

I really enjoy the urgent juxtaposition of this!

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you! I wanted something that would contrast what ended up being a pretty ordinary conversation, and am glad it helped build that underlying urgency for you.

Thanks for the kind comment.

Dan

[erulissedances]

This one required a second read to follow the threads you've cast. I loved the juxtaposition of the conversation with the upcoming storm.

- Erulisse (one L)

[muchtooarrogant]

Yeah, this was one of those pieces where the majority of what is going on remains unsaid. I'm fond of them, but they do sometimes require careful reading to spot the clues. Hopefully you didn't mind the extra work. (grin)

Thank you, I'm happy you enjoyed the contrast of the conversation with the storm, and appreciate your comment.

Dan

[adoptedwriter]

So rich in imagery. I’m impressed!

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you so much. Glad you liked it!

Dan

[swirlsofpurple]

This is amusing and I liked the imagery

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you! It was fun to write too, and I still smile when rereading it.

Very glad you enjoyed the story and the imagery!

Dan

[rayaso]

I loved your images and the way you worked conversation and the storm together. Your clues were great, although I'm not sure I got them all. Fascinating work.

[muchtooarrogant]

I was hoping the descriptions would be an interesting counterpoint to the conversation, and I'm glad you enjoyed them. The clues were fun to sprinkle in, like telling a very abbreviated story.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Dan

[halfshellvenus]

and held your head while you committed a hate crime in the McKenzie's front yard.
Hahahaha! I can see why Mr. Resilient is not eager to repeat the experience.

But deciding to go after all, maybe to meet someone new, IS a victory. In a way, you and I wrote about very similar things this week.

[muchtooarrogant]

LOL I'm glad someone enjoyed the "hate crime" bit as much as I did.

"But deciding to go after all, maybe to meet someone new, IS a victory."

So, here's where my trying to be clever probably doesn't register with most people. (grin)

• The person my character is interested in, Nikki, derived from Nicole, has a name that means "victory of the people," in Greek. I originally thought of the goddess Nike, and went from there.


• I tried to hint that the girl my main character was under the umbrela with, the one who tastes like strawberries, was actually Nikki.


• The quandary in the title is a little bit about whether he'll go to the party with his sib, but is really more about whether the "guy code" is more important than what he feels for Nikki. Probably not, given the umbrela encounter, but ...

Sorry for all the word games and vague hints, but it was fun trying to see how many I could fit in to a piece that was very short for me. :)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Dan

[halfshellvenus]

I figured the girl under the umbrella was also Nikki, but missed the last part. The "guy code" is also the "girl code" these days. It's been around for a long time-- but not always. I think in earlier times (50s and even 60s), guys felt free to ask anyone out as long as the girl wasn't going steady with someone.

[muchtooarrogant]

Yeppers, the interpretation still varies a bit too, depending on whom you ask. (grin) There was even a TV series with the name apparently, and although I've never seen it, I can only assume it was dreadful. LOL

Dan

[inkstainedfingertips]

She had tasted like strawberries.

I love this line and also the way you bring it back at the end. It's very fitting and a terrific callback.

Your descriptions are vivid and I love the spareness of your dialogue. Really terrific piece. Well done.

[muchtooarrogant]

I needed some way of tying the encounter with Nikki under the umbrella to his resolve at the end of the story, and besides victory, part of her name, I thought the strawberries would be a nice touch. After all, who doesn't love strawberries? :)

Thank you for leaving such a kind comment. I'm very glad you enjoyed my little story.

Dan

[inkstainedfingertips]

The strawberries were definitely a nice touch. :-)

[murielle]

I love storms! And your storm is awesome!

Loved it, Dan! ❤❤❤

[muchtooarrogant]

Thank you! I wanted to keep the piece short, and therefore didn't have much time, but still wanted the storm to impress. :) Very glad you enjoyed this!

Dan

[fausts_dream]

Another winner from LJI's Mr. Reliable. This is fun.

I shouldn't have wondered how you would handle a prompt that is partially about the visual, deftly is the answer.

[muchtooarrogant]

I appreciate the vote of confidence, but as I mentioned to a couple of people, it scared me quite a bit. I was researching leaf colors in the fall, and a few other things as well. LOL You sighted people are a challenge.

I'm glad you thought this was fun, and thank you for the very kind comment.

Dan

[xeena]

I love that last line so much! This entire thing was great and I just love how vividly you bring your characters to life. I can picture them so so clearly!

[muchtooarrogant]

Oh good, I was trying to tie everything together with that last line, and I'm very glad it worked for you. The challenge here is that I decided that there would be very little dialogue, so I had to reveal character aspects in different ways. I mean, I picture his sib as a sister, but I never actually said one way or another, and there's certainly no reason they couldn't be a brother. Maybe that's part of the fun though, letting you come up with your own imagined people. :)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Dan