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LJ Idol, Week Nineteen

When she turned on to the driveway, its sound, gravel crunching underneath her car's tires, brought back the memory of the old man's voice on the phone.

"Honestly Kate, I don't know how much longer I can hold them off."

It had been one of her father's cronies of course, a familiar voice from her childhood years, full of expectations and obligations she would somehow have to safely navigate around.

"I don't understand," she had admitted, "you said you had a buyer. Unless they've backed out, I don't see the problem."

"Oh, they haven't backed out, child," Patrick Aimes had reassured her, somehow managing to sound both amused and dismayed at her inability to understand. "They'd like to close on the property as soon as possible. That's a minor miracle of course, given the state the house is in after all these years, but they love the location, so close to the river you know, and kept talking about what lovely character the place had."

The old heap of wood and stone had been in her family for more than a hundred years, two stories of decaying history which she had no desire to ever go near again. If some over-achieving urban couple wanted to snatch it up as their rustic home away from home, that would be fine with her.

"So," she broke in, aware that, if she let him, he'd ramble on all day about the house's admirable qualities, proximity to the water, and a hundred other details she cared nothing about, "why can't you set a closing date?"

He sighed. "I can't set a closing date because the house is still full of your father's possessions, Kate. Furniture, books, clothing, it's all still there, just the way he left it two years ago. For that matter, your bedroom looks as though you just left with your date for the senior prom."

She had cringed, desperately searching for some way to escape from the inevitable demand she had known was coming, unable to answer his unspoken accusation. Two years ago, her father had suffered a fatal heart attack during his morning jog, and she, the wayward daughter, had only returned home long enough to see him decently buried before running back to her life in New York. While arranging his funeral, she had stayed at a roadside motel, never once going anywhere near the house in which she had grown up.

After a few long seconds had passed, the crackling voice of her father's old friend and lawyer, her lawyer now she supposed, continued, "I can arrange to have the furniture removed and sold if you don't want any of it, but there are personal papers, and books, and God only knows what else still lying around in there. I know you don't want to, Kate, but you're going to have to come back and sort through all that stuff before I can get it sold for you."

And that, of course, had been her dilemma. To finally be rid of the place, once and for all, she would have to come back; clear out bookcases, closets, and dresser drawers; sift through her and her father's past one room at a time; pack everything up and store it neatly away, to either be saved or discarded at some later date. Unfortunately, there were things which could not be disposed of so easily.

She had finally reached the end of the driveway, slowing her car to a stop as the old house loomed up in front of her. Its sandstone facade was the same, most stones appearing brown, but with a few cream colored ones mixed in, and even an occasional deeper red. Shutting off the engine and getting out of the car she had rented at the airport that morning, Kate stared up at the structure for a few moments. Had the old lawyer told his enthusiastic buyers that the house they were so interested in purchasing was haunted? Would that revelation have dissuaded them from buying, or only added an extra sheen to the places character?

Reaching back inside the rental, she rummaged around in her purse for a second, at last finding the chain with the single key she wanted. She wouldn't bring anything else inside. This was to be a reconnoiter, a scouting mission which would determine if she could stand up to what the house had in store for her.

When she inserted the key into the front door's lock, it jammed about halfway in, and refused to budge. She gave it a push, wiggled it back and forth a few times, and then, smiling, was on the verge of turning away. Apparently, the house wanted as little to do with her as she did with it. The trapped key was unimportant, an inconvenience she'd be happy to discard, but the gold chain she'd used to bind it wasn't. Kevin had given it to her in tenth grade, wiggling his eyebrows while holding it out, and saying, "If you take it, we're really boyfriend and girlfriend."

Kate reached for the chain's latch, fumbled with it for a second, and had just managed to pull it free when the key shifted, and sank the remainder of the way into the lock as though sucked in by some invisible force.

It figured. She wasn't even inside yet, and already the place was playing games with her. Running the chain's yellow links through her fingers, she wondered why she had come. Despite what Mr. Aimes had said, she could've insisted, forced him to hire a moving company to pack everything, sell the unwanted furniture, and deliver the papers and other personal belongings to her in New York. It would've been expensive, certainly, but infinitely preferable to what she was facing right now.

Squaring her shoulders, she fastened the chain around her neck, enjoying its cool touch against her skin. Perhaps it would protect her, serve as a talisman against what lay inside. She turned the key, noticing that the lock's action was now smooth and unprotesting, pushed the door open, and stepped forward.

She was surprised, although the lawyer had promised to have the electricity and water turned on before she got there, she had still expected to find nothing working, the house's interior filled with stale air and threatening shadows. The foyer's light responded immediately when she flipped the switch upward however, and the air felt completely normal. There was still dust everywhere of course, coating almost every flat surface she could see, but knowing her father's lack of housekeeping skills, some of it may have actually been there before his accident. The idea made her smile.

She saw a note on the entry way table, a rectangle of white against the wood's dark surface. Assuming that it must be a note from her attentive lawyer, she stepped forward and picked it up.

"I LOVE YOU!" was written in large block letters.

Kate gasped, dropping the paper, and backing up until she slammed against the foyer's opposite wall. Not a note from Mr. Aimes after all, but a message from the thing she had feared, the presence that had haunted her for months before she ran away.




"It'll be fun," Kevin had told her, pulling her towards the car with two of his laughing friends in the back seat. "Come on, it's Senior Ditch Day! You'll be like the only one in class. Even the teachers'll laugh at you."

"I won't be in class," she said primly, pulling free, "but I also won't be joy riding with you three loser-teers."

"Sure I can't tempt you?" he'd wheedled, giving the gold chain around her neck a playful tug.

If he'd been alone, he might have convinced her, but the unwanted company in his back seat was a turn off, and she had plans of her own anyway. A drive to the city with her best friend, a day spent shopping and boy watching, freedom from school, him, and everything else.

The day had been perfect. She had started off feeling a little melancholy because she couldn't be with Kevin, but her friend Carolyn wasn't having any of that. Driving full speed down the road with all four windows open, she had regaled Kate with wicked fantasies about their classmates and teachers until they were both screaming with laughter. Shopping had been a blast, trying on and modeling dozens of dresses they couldn't even begin to afford, making so much noise in one fancy boutique that the sales lady had threatened to throw them out. Lunch had been followed by ice cream cones in the park, both girls whispering secrets and inventing stories about the people walking passed. By the time Kate finally got home, she was exhausted and ready for bed.

What happened next had felt like a dream, a slow melting into warm and comforting arms, the whispering of silken words against bare skin. His presence here, in a bed she had never shared with anyone, was thrilling, an adventure she had dreamt of, but never thought to experience. He had started with slow caresses, feathery touches that masterfully excited her in ways no teenage lover ever had, teasing fingerplay that left her panting and hoping for more. Slowly, as his touches became more insistant, she realized with drowsy amazement that this was no fantasy lover, no creation of her subconscious, but someone she knew all to well.

"Kevin?"

As their passion mounted, she wrapped herself around him, intertwining his limbs with hers, pulling him as close as possible.

In the morning, her father had told her Kevin was dead.

Author's Note:
While desperately racking my brain for inspiration on this week's topic, I happened to be listening to Pandora, and heard the following song. Afterwards, I still wasn't sure what sort of betrayal I'd write about, only that it would have to be a ghost story.



Dan

Date: 2012-03-18 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notodette.livejournal.com
I really enjoyed this. A lot.

Date: 2012-03-18 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm very glad you enjoyed it.

Was it the shopping or the ghost story that made it perfect for you? *evil grin*

Thanks for reading.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-18 03:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] similiesslip.livejournal.com
I didn't see that coming. You definitely surprised me.

Do you believe in ghosts?

An experience like this story WOULD scare me so much, like your character, I might move and never come back. So that also rang very true.

Your story is very intriguing!

Date: 2012-03-18 03:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
LOL What you have to understand about me is that I'm an agnostic, fence-sitter to the core. "Is devinity possible? Is the spiritual world real?" I'll usually smile, and say, "Could be." I believe that there are occurrences throughout history, both beautiful and terrible, which we cannot fully explain.

Sorry, I know I didn't really answer your question. I apreciate you reading and commenting though, and I'm very glad the story caught your attention. :)

Dan

Date: 2012-03-18 03:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] similiesslip.livejournal.com
It's ok. I like your phrase "fence-sitter." Maybe that should be my answer if people ask what religion I am. "I'm a fence-sitter."

I do believe there are mysteries in this world.

Date: 2012-03-18 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siro-gravity.livejournal.com
Hi Dan the Man.
I know these lj idol entries are not for your "normal" Lj peeps, but I read it anyway. :)

My favorite part was the part about the house. and her dad. and not wanting to go in. i liked the little details of how you described things, and it felt real to me...like something I could understand in a personal way. I found myself imagining the house. And the dust. And the little note on the table. Funny, you didn't really describe the landscape around the house, but I found myself imagining that, too.

But if she was at her dad's house, was the note from her dad or from kevin?

There's a gap for me between the girl-date and "dream" -like the transition between the pieces is different than how the top part transitions between the characters and the place. And all of a sudden - "poof" i'm very quickly at the end. So I think that your own creative enjoyment with writing was more at the beginning. is that true?

Anyhoosie, I totally enjoyed reading this.
Even if I'm not an idol.
Edited Date: 2012-03-18 04:38 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-03-18 03:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Actually, I love it when my regular Flist members read the LJI entries. They're for everyone, although naturally most of the comments I get are from other LJI participants.

The note was from the ghost. I made a point of talking about the surrounding dust, just so that I could point out that the note didn't have any. Remember, her Dad passed away two years ago while he was jogging. He wouldn't have had any reason to be leaving her notes in his own house.

Did I enjoy writing the beginning more than the end? I don't know whether enjoy is the right word exactly, but I did take a lot of time thinking about the house, how Kate got there, and her transition from the car to the foyer. The second part was designed to feel different from the beginning, as Kate's remembering her high school years. I wanted Kevin's note to be the bridge, triggering Kate's memory, and allowing the reader to see why she's so freaked out.

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my LJI story, and I'm glad you enjoyed it. :) Any time you feel like reading and commenting, you're more than welcome.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-18 07:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] milk-and-glass.livejournal.com
Wow, this was really creepy. I enjoyed it. You really built us up at the end, and then, boom . . . the mark of a true horror writer :) Very awesome!

Date: 2012-03-18 03:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Thank you, that's very high praise. I'm happy you enjoyed it, and that the ending surprised you. I must've done something right. :)

Thanks for reading and commenting.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-18 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ecosopher.livejournal.com
Hmmm, interesting! After that kind of experience, I guess I can understand why she didn't want to go back. Freaky.

Date: 2012-03-18 03:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Well, after that kind of experience, she'd either never want to go back, or never want to leave. :) Kidding aside though, Kate was obviously conflicted. She even wondered about her own motives for coming back while standing outside the house, and never really answered the question.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-18 01:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baxaphobia.livejournal.com
Definitely creepy! Well done!

Date: 2012-03-18 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Dan

Date: 2012-03-19 02:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] basric.livejournal.com
At least her ghost loves her. I really enjoyed this one. (-:

Date: 2012-03-19 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Oh yes, he loves her a lot. :)

Thanks for reading, and I'm happy you liked it.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-19 02:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com
Wow. You really surprised me on this. I was loving the story in the first place but then that second half was so spooky.
Great job!

Date: 2012-03-19 05:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Thank you! I was hoping the identity of the ghost haunting Kate wouldn't be too obvious, but would also make sense, once it was finally revealed. Glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks for reading and taking time to comment.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-19 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myrna-bird.livejournal.com
It was very well done. :)

Date: 2012-03-19 04:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jem0000000.livejournal.com
Creepy!

I liked it. The details of the house and her worries about it really make the story come alive. *smile*

I feel kind of sorry for Kevin, even if he is super-creepy and rather out of bounds here. Poor Kate!

Date: 2012-03-21 11:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Oh, I agree, it totally sucks to be Kevin. He's holding on to life through Kate, and yeah, out of bounds is definitely how I'd describe how he's doing it. She's not able to live or even go near a childhood home she loves, even after her father dies. Poor kid needs to hire the Ghost Busters.

Thanks for reading! :)

Dan

Date: 2012-03-22 12:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jem0000000.livejournal.com
Definitely. Perhaps she can find him a lovely urn to haunt then.

I always read you, but you're welcome!

Date: 2012-03-22 02:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
I'm no expert in hauntings, but I sort've feel like Kate would have to summon Kevin, tell him to get lost, and really mean it. Like I said somewhere else in the comments, the poor girl's a bit conflicted.

*smile* I guess I kind of go on auto pilot when I'm responding to LJI comments. Try and respond with something related to what they said, and always thank them for stopping by. Sometimes, when the person is on my Flist, I get more chatty, but when I'm rereading I add in the thank you. After all, why shouldn't I thank them too? LOL There's the slightest of possibilities that I'm overthinking the whole thing just a bit.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-22 03:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jem0000000.livejournal.com
Hmmm, I think hauntings vary from story to story, but that sounds reasonable to me. Not that I'm an expert either, lol.

I probably overthink mine, too; I've caught myself consulting the thesaurus to find another way to say "thanks" on occasion. *grin*

Date: 2012-03-19 08:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pixiebelle.livejournal.com
Wow. I thought that perhaps he had died, but you still surprised me with the ending and what she dreamt. Very cool story!

Date: 2012-03-21 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
I figured people might jump to the conclusion that Kevin was dead before the end, and that's why I wanted Kate's haunting to be a little different. Well, that and because I know what freaks you people are. *evil grin*

Thanks for reading!

Dan

Date: 2012-03-20 10:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jacq22.livejournal.com
Liked then descriptive parts as you do them so well, and the spooky bit was awesome. I have written a story about visiting a childhood house and a ghost, you have just rekindled my ideas!! might put it in a competition. See inspiration from you, so thank you and well done.

Date: 2012-03-21 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Hey, that's the best kind of comment, the fact that my story might've inspired you to resume one of your own writing projects. Good luck, and thanks for saying that! You made my day!

Dan

Date: 2012-03-20 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sarcasmoqueen.livejournal.com
That totally creeped me out. But don't worry, that's a good thing.

Date: 2012-03-21 11:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
I'm not worried! I figure, if I can creep you out, I must be doing something right. LOL

Thanks for stopping by and reading. I'll try and make my next story a little less creepy, maybe... *grin*

Dan

Date: 2012-03-21 06:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sweeny-todd.livejournal.com
Creepy.. and good! I was surprised at how it ended... I especially love the first half though. The descriptions are just so vivid.

Date: 2012-03-21 11:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Thank you! That's a theme in my comments, people saying how much they loved the first part because of the descriptions I used. The lesson I have to take from that is a hard one for me, describe more, jabber less. I do so love character dialogue. *grin*

Thanks for reading and letting me know your thoughts.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-21 12:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sweeny-todd.livejournal.com
The second half is good, I think that it just feels rushed in comparison to the first half, thus the warmer reception to the first half.

Date: 2012-03-21 12:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
I agree. I wanted the second half to have a different tone, more care free and fun, at least at the beginning, but I definitely could've lengthened it a bit.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-21 06:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] everywordiwrite.livejournal.com
Ooh, I really love this story. Love the song, too - been listening to a lot of Indigo Girls but hadn't heard this one before.

Date: 2012-03-21 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karmasoup.livejournal.com
(I was confused for just a second, because I knew the song was by Indigo Girls, but didn't know who this Pandora was... that just goes to show I'm probably just a touch more of a luddite than I'd otherwise be willing to readily admit.)

Date: 2012-03-22 02:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
LOL Or, we both are. I am, you see, a pretty recent convert myself, and was introduced to the whole experience by my thirteen-year-old daughter.

Dan

Date: 2012-03-22 02:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Indigo Girls are just plain awesome. I tend to like their older CD's better, because I think they had more of the folky/acoustic sound I like then, but their lyrics have always been excellent.

Glad you liked the story, and thanks for commenting!

Dan

Date: 2012-03-21 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] karmasoup.livejournal.com
Oh... sweet AND creepy. Too bad he never got the chance to move on.

Date: 2012-03-22 02:43 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Unfortunately, Kevin's one of those spirits that's going to need a bit of a push before he moves on. If I ever revisit them, I'm going to have to be sure Kate figures that out.

Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you liked!

Dan

Date: 2012-03-21 11:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mstrobel.livejournal.com
zomg that was so awesomely creepy :D

Date: 2012-03-22 02:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] muchtooarrogant.livejournal.com
Why thank you. I hope you enjoyed the awesome creepy! *grin*

Dan

Date: 2012-03-22 06:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] michikatinski.livejournal.com
Delightfully creepy. And your leading lady has a great name. ;) Well done.

Date: 2012-03-22 10:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] n3m3sis42.livejournal.com
Poor Kevin! I can see why Kate was creeped out, though. I liked this one a lot.

Date: 2012-03-22 03:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yuniebaby.livejournal.com

I love how this drew me in right away and kept my attention throughout. Just the perfect amount of creepy. Really excellent!

Date: 2012-03-22 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] halfshellvenus.livejournal.com
Really, really vivid storytelling here.

By the end, I can see why she fears that house so much. I thought at first it was because of her father, but then later... it's not every day that someone is afraid of a ghost who loves them too much, and will not let go of them.

Gads!

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